HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I’ve actually been struggling to write this post for a little while. 2015 started off well with Miss Penny’s baptism and celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary. In March tragedy struck my family and it caused rifts which I’m not sure will ever be mended. We tried to focus on spending time with those we love the most and getting on with living our lives the best we could.
My anxiety and depression has been a constant battle for me this year. Almost a daily struggle to get up and get on with my day, but Miss Penny has made me do it. Her smiling face and cuddles have kept me going on days I actually felt like my heart was breaking in two. My mind is my own worst enemy and I often over think things to the point my moods swing so low it scares me. It always seems to happen on days we should be celebrating too and then the guilt of spoiling things for other people sets in and I feel worse.
Even this post has gone from a “Hey, have a fantastic new year” into a woe is me moan-a-thon. Sorry….
I guess that it’s easy to dwell on all of the negatives going on and very easy to overlook the good things, so I am going to list some in order to remember everything I am grateful for. So here goes…
- I am thankful for my husband and children. I know that I am very lucky to have 3 healthy babies (even if they are 14, 12 and 1). Some people try their whole lives for one and I have been truly blessed. I also couldn’t ask for a better husband and father for our kids.
- I have family around me who love me. We don’t always agree on everything and sometimes we get wrapped up in our own stuff, but deep down we love each other and do whatever we can for each other.
I’ve never been good with resolutions, but this year I’m really going to try. My biggest one is to get my body in shape. I’ve been through a lot physically in my life but this past year I have let the weight pile on and my moods have slumped a lot, so OPERATION FEEL BETTER starts now.
I really really want another baby, but for his own reasons Jonathan isn’t keen. The more he says no, the more depressed I get about it. I do understand as I was a nightmare during my pregnancy with Penny and SPD basically wrecked it for us, but I’d do it all again in a heartbeat. So… I need to get myself in tip top condition mentally and physically and then broach the subject again.
I am also looking forward to my confirmation in March and exploring my faith some more this coming year.
I would like to take more photographs. Whether for my business or my own private projects. I’ve become slightly disheartened by it all recently, so need to get out more with my camera for sure.
Fix our money situation. I have been overspending to make myself happy and it’s really not healthy. It’s time to tighten everything up and clear a lot of this debt. It’s time to face it before it catches up with me.
What changes are you going to make this year? Are you any good at resolutions?